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6th June 2015 21:08 | LAST COMMENT 346 weeks ago

So there has been some comments recently about the appearance of some models (in particular new lad Aaron) and in turn that has led to some comments from people not liking people leaving negative comments about the models appearance..

So I guess I wanted to bring the discussion to one place and also explain how I feel about it and what I feel is acceptable or not.

Ok so here goes! I think when you are dealing with fetish movies that involve models then it is perfectly normal that we are going to have feelings about the appearance of the model. Sometimes these will be feelings of approval and sometimes it will be the opposite. 

So is it acceptable to make comments about the look of the model? Well I think it is. No one complains if people point out the positive things they like about the model (like Ryan's stomach or Fraser's puppy dog eyes) so I think it should also be fine to point out the things you don't like. As long as comments are not made with malicious intent then I think it's ok.

I think it's all about the way it is put across really.

For example, saying "I can't stand Bailey movies because he is so ugly" would be a out of order. Beauty is of course in the eye of the beholder! Saying, "I can't stand Bailey movies because his looks are not to my taste" is much more acceptable.

What about talking about someones weight or body fat? Again, I guess it all depends on how it is said. "Saying that you don't find the model attractive because you prefer thinner guys or a washboard stomach is not being nasty, it's just honest.  Whereas just calling someone fat is a bit unpleasant!

As the producer I thrive on feedback from the members. So saying that I only want positive feedback would not work very well. I also have to remember that people like the movies for different reasons. Some really like the characters and dialogue and stories, however some just like the look of the model and will fast forward until the pants get pulled down! There is no right or wrong!

So as long as everything plays nice and is not nasty then all comments good and bad are very welcome!

I encourage all comments, if enough people say they really like someone then I will be inclined to get them back quickly, similarly if enough people say they don't like the look of a model then I will also take that onboard. 

It's a really tricky one to try and explain! 

Dave x

PS From what I have read so far, Aaron will definitely be coming back!


Dave - Straight Lads Spanked | 13th June 2015 16:12
So I just wanted to catch-up with all of this! What a great discussion! I didn't really have anything else to add from my original post other than to say you all make really good points, especially Ward. I did want to respond though to one thing where somebody mentioned that they "were not my target audience"... hmm! So what is my target audience? My thoughts on that have completely changed! If you had asked me that question in the very early days I would have wrongly (and naively) answered 'gay men'. Of course that couldn't be more wrong. The correct answer to that question is "anyone who like male male spanking/punishment movies". So if you happen to like MM Spanking movies and you are a member of this site then your thoughts and comments are as valid and welcome as anyones! :)
wardcoleman | 8th June 2015 18:02
I think one has to separate real life from commercial adult entertainment, and when it comes to commercial material, except within very specialised genres, looks matter. and with the best will in the world the makers of commercial videos like Dave have to make videos which people want to see, otherwise they will go out of business and we all lose out. There can be a wide range of of models, from the likes of Rico, Andy and Bailey to Karl and Lee but the bottom line tis that they need to be attractive.

I don't buy the argument that because fans of M/M spanking are a minority we have to be PC and inclusive and pretend to enjoy what we don't really want to see. We are entitled to be as picky and demanding as any other group of consumers.

I have run Jockspank now for seven years and I have been involved in various adult online forums before that, and I have seen a number of Studios try to sell videos featuring older, heavier or generally less attractive models and they have never been successful. Even when studios have experimented with "turn around" scenarios where Junior gets his revenge on Dad have only been successful if "Dad" is a handsome 35 year old hunk who works out every day and has a great butt.

To less attractive men getting spanked, you need only turn to the F/M market, and you will find plenty there. However, fans of M/M spanking generally want to see fit young guys getting spanked.

We should never be unkind about actors (as some people are I can tell you) however, we have to accept both commercial realities and that fancying handsome guys doesn't make you a bad person :-)
uchikimatsu | 8th June 2015 23:48 (347 weeks ago)
Very well said, Ward. You make excellent points here, and one in particular I was going to post about myself which is that it is not cruel or unkind to have a preference, or to state such preference. I can imagine on the extreme end of the spectrum that someone could say stating my preference for women partners is hurtful and shaming to men, or my preference for curvey, full-figured red-heads with tattoos is implying that skinny blondes are somehow inferior people. As a large person myself I've been rejected many times both in the BDSM scene and romantically for my size and I've learned to recognized the difference between prejudice and preference. I've definitely encountered those who have been disgusted by me because of my size, but there are also wonderful, intelligent, insightful people who simply don't prefer a person of size for play or romance. I'm ok with both kinds. One I simply ignore, the other I befriend, because who couldn't use more wonderful, intelligent, insightful people in their life?
wardcoleman | 9th June 2015 14:34 (347 weeks ago)
Hi Chiki, You are certainly right, in real life we have friends and lovers who are all shapes, ages and sizes, when you get to know real people you get to know their mind and their personality, which can make them very sexy, whatever they look like . Also, as you say we all we different tastes but we could miss out on meeting wonderful people if we stick rigidly to our "type" . However, when it comes to fantasy, where we do not have the opportunity to get to know a person intimately it is a different story, and sites like this are here to fulfill fantasies, not to find lifetime companions. If you were to ask most people who they would prefer to see spanked Chris Hemsworth or Chris Christie, I doubt you would get a widely varying response. :-) I rest my case!
lorilee | 9th June 2015 15:23 (347 weeks ago)
Sorry Wardcoleman I have to put in my too cents on your choices :-) Chris Hemsworth a true fantasy spanking and Chris Christi in reality because he could use one and both shown on youtub for all to see .
uchikimatsu | 9th June 2015 15:43 (347 weeks ago)
Oh no, Ward, I completely agree with everything you said both before and now. My point wasn't that we become more accepting of someone's physical appearance as we get to know them, it was that as I got older I became more accepting of the fact that everyone, including myself, is going to have a preference. I stopped looking at people who rejected me because I was larger as shallow, hurtful, or mean because many of them are just regular nice people that happen to have preferences that are not me. I grew up. I learned that they don't hate me, they aren't prejudiced, aren't ignorant, and don't want to hurt me. Just like I don't hate or want to hurt thin blondes, i just don't prefer them. Heck, I even have a few thin blonde friends, LOL!

I was also saying there ARE some cruel, hateful people out there that have issues, but just having a preference is not mean, nor is it having issues. We all get to. And I think it's especially important to express our opinions on a site like this where Dave encourages feedback. I'm completely aware that I'm not the target audience here and my views should have very little weight (yes, yes I did just do that...) but I wanted to chime in on this particular topic as I do know a little about it.

wardcoleman | 9th June 2015 17:20 (347 weeks ago)
Hi Lorilee, I see your point, it was probably unwise to choose a politician as an example, shall we make the choice between someone with Chris Hemsworth's physical attributes and someone with Chris Christie's appearance :-)
wardcoleman | 9th June 2015 17:35 (347 weeks ago)
Hi again Chiki, I realise you were agreeing with me, sorry if I implied otherwise, I expressed myself badly when I put the alternative argument. We are certainly entitled to our preferences and we are not being cruel or unkind by having them.

Some people are cruel, I moderate comments at JockSpank and you would not believe some of the ones I reject!!

It is great that Dave encourages comments, and I don't necessarily agree that you are not the target audience. The audience for male spanking movies and pictures is surprisingly varied and includes a growing number of women, (and straight men) in fact the sites which only cater for gay men are missing out on a large number of potential fans. As a gay woman, you may not represent the audience which was initially expected, but I know Dave is delighted to have you as a fan, and that your views are as welcome as everyone else
lorilee | 9th June 2015 19:31 (347 weeks ago)
Hi again I for one am a fan of your sight as well there are several models I follow Travis begin my fav. Would love to stream yours as well.
Aimee | 9th June 2015 23:01 (346 weeks ago)
You have made some excellent points here. It is certainly very unkind and uneccessary to say someone is "ugly" or "fat" or whatever your particular dislike may be but as you say ultimately for a large percentage of the people watching these clips attraction plays a part.
I do comment frequently about models appearance but in very different ways. For example when it is an actor who I find very attractive physically like Andy or Bailey I say something like "omg they are so hot, wow! Please let me see more of this person" but when it is a model like say Fraser or Karl? Who wouldnt be my type but all the same are cute guys and I can see why others would be attracted to that person will comment on features about them that I do like such as their puppy dog eyes and adorable facial expressions which all in all add up to make the movie good.
I think to pretend we aren't affected some way by the appearances would be dishonest but how you go about saying it is a totally different matter. So long as everyone is aware of not being hurtful then it should be ok.
The other thing is sometimes when you type something it sounds one way in your head and a completely different way when read by someone else. We don't always get the tone of how something was said in text which can make it difficult too I guess.

So I guess I'm just saying I completely agree with you Ward :)
Ficwriterjet | 12th June 2015 01:05 (346 weeks ago)
Hi Ward,

Very well said. And now I really want to see Chris Hemsworth stop by for a session with Mr. X. :)
Cherylkay | 7th June 2015 16:34
Part of the problem with the spanking video industry is that it's totally fantasy based. The website owner knows that he's feeding people's fantasies, plus he or she wants a return on their financial investment so they're going to go with what sells. And young cute models are what sells. This is true whether the bottom is male or female. The top can look any way they want to, but the bottom HAS to be attractive. And even though attractiveness is subjective, there are still "types" that most people find more appealing than others. In the M/F market, a woman who looks youthful enough to pass for a schoolgirl (but who in fact might be 30 or older) is still going to have a short shelf life in the industry. Of course, I'm talking about professionals here; people who make their living appearing in videos. The guys at SLS are just regular lads, not professionals, so they're not going to spend all of their time doing things to make themselves look better in the videos--whether it's spending massive amounts of time in the gym or getting waxed or whatever. I like the fact that Dave chooses his models from among the general population instead of looking for professionals. Most professionals are highly recognizable to most of us who are familiar with the industry. But Dave, because he uses regular guys who are just looking to make a little extra money, gives us guys no one has seen before and that keeps it very exciting, at least for me.

That being said, I still don't like negative comments on models' appearances. I think even when it's couched in civility there's still something mean spirited about it. It's saying to a guy "You don't meet my standards of beauty. Away with you and don't come back until you do." Maybe it's because I've personally been subjected to body shaming in the spanking scene I'm perhaps a bit over sensitive to it. I saw absolutely nothing wrong with Aaron's body. OK, he's not as toned as others, but comparing his body to someone else's is rather unfair. As I've said more than once, I can find something to like in every guy who's ever been on here even if they aren't my cup of tea physically. Appearance is only part of the package and for me, a small part. I know I go on about muscular guys with tattoos, but guys like Dean and Paul and yes, Aaron have their place, too.

Thank you, Dave for opening this discussion. Society as a whole places a lot of importance on physical beauty and that attitude permeates everything to do with our culture. Like @matt, I appreciate that you welcome our comments.
Ficwriterjet | 12th June 2015 00:56 (346 weeks ago)
Hi Cheryl,

I'm sorry to hear that you've had issues with body shaming in the spanking scene. That really sucks. :( I've been to a few BDSM clubs over the years, as well as some private home parties, and I've seen all shapes and sizes of people playing. In fact I'd say it's rare to see America's version of 'movie star' beautiful in the clubs I've gone to.

Your comment made me think about the body types I've played with in real life, vs. the body types that I like to watch on screen. In real life, I'll play with anyone who asks. I've played with guys who are older than me, younger than me, in better shape, in worse shape, and even though I'm straight I've played with women too. I'm too shy/nervous to go ask someone to play with me, but I suppose if I had the courage to do that, I probably would pick someone who looked like Andy or Matt, or even Aaron over someone who looked like Kevin or Karl. And yet that's the body type I most like to see getting spanked.

I also completely agree with your comment that I've found something appealing about every guy I've watched on SLS, and while appearance plays a part, I think the ability to act plays an even larger part for me.

Hunter | 8th June 2015 06:48
Hi Dave.

Model appearance doesn't matter to me if a boy is thin or well built it how react to the spanking.

Someone said beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty is only skin deep.

What matters to me is manners and how the spankees address the spanker like during a spanking is wrong to swear and he has right to give the model doing the swearing further spanking for doing so.but instead of hand spanks I would use the slipper on their bare bottom to get the message through. To him.

Am I on my own on this or do you agree with me Dave

I am pleased that Aaron will be returning.
mattnyc | 7th June 2015 15:07
Well said, Dave. Everyone can and should voice their preferences for stories, scenarios, model types, and models. As long as it's done in a civil way it seems totally appropriate. And everyone understands (or should understand) that every model and every clip isn't going to please everyone. If some members are more focused on the story and acting than the physical appearance of the models, I say "enjoy yourselves!" It's great that the site has something for everyone. I appreciate how open you are to feedback, Dave, and it seems like you're committed to listening to all the members. So thanks and, as always, I'm looking forward to the next update.
Lynne | 7th June 2015 13:30
We all have our preferences. As you said Dave, the idea is to agree to disagree, be, hmmm, socially polite (?) and for lack of a better phrase, go with the flow :). We all know you can't please all of us 100% of the time but you sure work hard at it :).
Dave - Straight Lads Spanked | 7th June 2015 12:25
I did forget to day that this is only my opinion of course! If I have missed something or someone feels differently then then please feel free to add to this! :)
Ooleary | 7th June 2015 08:25
Thank you Dave xx
Ficwriterjet | 7th June 2015 05:40
Very nicely put Dave. I concur.
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