uchikimatsu | 8th May 2014 05:59
Dave, thanks so much for offering some insight into your personal connection with spanking and the history behind SLS! (Brett Stevens is the spanko MAN! didn’t I recognize him in a clip on here somewhere? I’m still navigating the whole site, I could be mistaken…)
There have been so many great people sharing their thoughts and experiences recently that I am inspired to do the same. What brought me out of the shadows and encouraged me to make my first post was an email from another member that is posted here: http://www.straightladsspanked.com/blog/82/awesome-email-/
Her letter included an astute analysis regarding why only straight M/M spankings can really work as non-sexual discipline scenarios. Everything she said I wanted to say when I saw my first preview clip, but she said it better!
So, as mentioned before I’m a gay female, American, in my 40’s, that has had thoughts and feelings around spankings and discipline for as long as I can remember. I have given a lot of thought as to why this should be so. Some people might just accept what is, but introverts tend to live in their own head, so I think about stuff. Dave mentions that he’s heard others say that the only time they’ve gotten attention from a parent is when being spanked or disciplined, and unfortunately in my experience speaking with others this is not uncommon to hear. I have about 20 years spanking experience and really enjoy learning how and why others come to be involved in spanking. I will mention that 90% of my experience is on the giving end, as a disciplinarian.
Cue the violins: Growing up my father was absent and my mom…hmmm…she might as well have been, let’s put it that way, shall we? I basically raised my little sister, did my best to, anyway. But I was quite aware that there was something missing in my life that all my friends seemed to have, like rules and boundaries. Things like bedtime and homework and curfew were completely foreign to me. Meanwhile, not only did I see my friends subjected to the horror of parental constraints (oh how jealous I was) I was being exposed to images from every kind of media, from the Sunday comic, cartoons, television, and movies with spankings (and other forms of discipline) whereby the authority figure always reassures the punished that it is being done “for their own good,” or that they wouldn’t do it if they didn’t love them, or the old stand-by, “this hurts me more than it hurts you.” Tears are dried, hugs are given, forgiveness ensues.
“Hey!” my brain screamed one day, “spanking equals love!” Synapses fired, and thus began my obsession with spanking and discipline.
So, I wanted to be spanked. More importantly, I wanted some discipline, and probably on a base level I just wanted some attention. What to do, what to do. In America, and especially the region where I live, colloquially known as “the bible belt,” spankings were, and still are believe it or not, given in school! I tried to misbehave, I really did, but it’s just never been in my nature to be a rule breaker. Of course I was a typical kid doing typical naughty things, but I couldn’t make myself misbehave on purpose. I’ve always been a rule follower (seems strange as I never really had many) and even work with the law now as a paralegal. So, I never got spanked at school.
When I got old enough to seek spankings recreationally, I ran into a real paradox. I wanted discipline (love! caring! nurturing! my brain screams) not the sexy spankings depicted in the magazines I was now old enough to buy. I was gay, so being spanked by a woman was maybe not the right thing. Also, it would remind me of my mom, and I just didn’t want it to go there. So I thought better for it to be a guy. For me, a guy would be totally not sexy. Het men just didn’t understand spankings that were not foreplay. If they said they did at first, they lied. That happened a lot. Gay men just didn’t want to be spanking a woman for any reason. Straight women, same thing unless they’re paid to do so. Now, put me over the knee of a hot butch and I’m all for that, but then we’re going somewhere else with that. Yeah, I didn’t get spanked a lot. And then I realized there were many, so many people out there just like me. So I spanked them. I knew exactly what they wanted and how they wanted it, because I was them, not getting it. Which is ok.
There are many sites out there whose approach borders on abusive and cruel. Dave reveals that his other job has to do with nurturing and healing, and he also says that it is so far from Mr. X. I am not the least surprised by what Dave has said about his job. I can verify many examples in both the Mr. X movies and the WTYFGH movies that support the caring discipline I see. Of course, the members are a diverse group and just like we all have our reasons for liking what we like, we all see what we want to see. I may see a concerned father hating to but willing to strap his son in order set him on the right path, and another member sees beefy hot man buns quivering under the belt and getting red. Neither of us is wrong, really.
If you’ve made it this far, I apologize for this NOVEL I’ve posted, but I’d really, really like to hear from other members, background info and how you came to enjoy spanking or discipline, if there was a defining moment, etc. Thanks!